Ichabod's Kin
A place for politics, pop culture, and social issues

The Truth About Sarah

That Palin gal’s a piece of work. She was already on the ropes as guv of the Frozen State and would’ve quit anyway after her most recent term–now she’s the toast of the (tea) party: here, there and everywhere, speakin’, talkin’, cheerin’, signin’ books and stuffin’ dough in her bloomers.

She’s “a brand plucked from the burning,” if ever there was one, courtesy of John McCain’s Straight Talk Express as it headed toward its doom. His very gray campaign was going nowhere but down, and he fancied that a little spice would at least make the inevitable somewhat endurable.

So he foisted Sarah on us and the rest, unfortunately, is not only history but–god help us–the forseeable future. I liked the ol’ trucker-guy voice that Robin Williams put on to say raspily, “Mmmm…yeah, I can vote for that.” At a McCain rally in Tucson, with Sarah in tow, one woman told national tv she was really voting for McCain’s opponent. “You’re just here to see Sarah, aren’t you?” asked the interviewer. To which she rplied, “You betcha.”

Sarah has various things going for her, none of which will help any decent Republican running for office, since she’s succeeded Hillary Clinton as the most polarizing person in American politics. But two, um, virtues strike a chord to the broader audience: one is sex appeal, and the other her being, in truth, a different kind of Old Fashioned Woman.

As we know from past female tv anchors and Hollywood hotties, the first is a slippery slope indeed: Sarah Palin will be timing out about when Sarah Jessica Parker does. That this is unfair is patently clear but also a harsh and unrelenting truth, given another built-in timer, that of the American male who likes to shag such gals for a while but later can’t seem to find their phone numbers.

As for a different kind of woman: surely we all knew that behind the feminist parade first led by Gloria Steinem would be that of Ann Coulter and her ilk. People already forget Gloria’s name, sorta like the Third Tenor; and Coulter, though more current, grates a lot of people–regardless of politics–like chalk-squawk on a blackboard.

Enter gun-slingin’, moose stew-cookin’, quick-with-a-quip Sarah: did she not exist, we would have had to invent her. Her kind has always been around, say, the southern U.S., but never got anywhere because they weren’t seen as lady-like. Their real liability was they didn’t have Sarah’s gams, either.

But times have changed, and feminism did not guess that the gauntlet it threw down to women in general, hoping to inspire their allegiance, would be picked up by gals who had absolutely nothing in common with it but hoped dearly for a voice they could recognize and own.

So now they’ve got her and couldn’t be happier. They dream of being Sarah, of looking like her in hotpants and of stickin’ it to da Man–meaning, we think, men who aren’t their kind of guy. But the hunks in their slice of Americana still tend toward the insensitive sort that pays no real attention to them, and always count on the li’l wifey to know the right moment to back down and not throw the Old World Order into a tailspin: to wit, a non-threatening new kinda gal.

All of which is to say that Sarah’s followers are not really fighting  liberals and Democrats, but for their own prospects–and for their own men, for whom their hopes spring eternal, but men who will tolerate their efforts as long as a chick like Sarah’s leading the pack. For now, if Palin wants them to cheer for right-wing rhetoric, they will, but that has a timer on it, too, and if Sarah doesn’t know that, she needs to read the fine print in her political playbook: the Fates that cast Sarah into the spotlight are as fickle as those that served men in the past.

There is so much that will come to a head between now and midterm elections. No doubt everyone will pay a price and take their lumps. For now we abide the circus underway, but one thing is for sure: no one really stands a chance except those who have the best long-term, strategic, and realistic plan. Playing to emotions and following flashes in the pan, however, will bring the greatest heartbreak of all.

The greatest irony falls on McCain. As he and Sarah sat together at his rally, it brought to mind what Jon Stewart called a photo op from the Visiting Nurse program. Time may be a great healer but it’s a lousy damned beautician, and John is the latest notable victim.

Fifty years ago McCain was unarguably a hero. Now he relies for help on a little tart whom her followers think is a better man than he is.

That too has gotta hurt.

6 Responses to “The Truth About Sarah”

  1. Keep up the writing John – I love it.

  2. The choice of Palin as a Vice-Presidential candidate was a lesson in the adolescent sexual fantasies of a senile old man. Former beauty queens are his penchant – note his wife’s past.

  3. I think Sarah Palin is foolish and embarrassing. The problem is that Obama is the same kind of rock-star phenomenon but can’t be picked on the same way as Palin (or you’re a seditious racist). Palin reminds me of one of those silly boy bands that basically has no talent but is a guilty pleasure for many to follow. Obama is far worse. He is a skilled elitist, liberal politician with zero tact for the middle class — a hypocrite-in-chief. While Palin is probably too hubristic to grasp what it’s like for a small business owner in Massachusetts, Obama knows all to well what his plans to grow government will do to middle-class employers. It’s willful malice at best.

    Instead of the indulgent prose in the author’s post, readers should get some insight as to why both sides are broken. It’s no wonder the snarky, self-important Stewart is mentioned. Probably a hero of the author. All put-down with no solutions.

    And by the way, in another post there is this from the author:

    “Yet Reagan, to the end of his presidency, referred to Carter’s time as ‘failed policies of the past’, a chestnut he recurringly threw into speeches right up to his very last month in office. His big talent, more than acting, was blaming someone else for his own ineptitude…”

    What a joke! How about Obama? At least he will only get to blame Bush for four years before his ass is rightfully on the street. He has already completely outpaced any president in history with the blame game. And no need to mention Carter’s double digit inflation and unemployment figures! Don’t worry… we are almost there again… provided we don’t allow Iran to nuke us first. Reagan was a top-ten president…. a game changer in world history. Obama and Carter? Bottom ten for America. No doubt — two of the worst presidents ever in terms of making the country weaker. Both Reagan and Carter were altruistic guys… but Reagan was clearly a better president.

    Obama? He really only deserves a Nobel prize for the size of his ego. He hasn’t done ANYTHING useful except serve as a self-absorbed icon to his mindless minions. These aren’t people who engage in meaningful debate… these are snobs, illegals, and folks who are allergic to work. Now the rest of the moderates who voted anti-Bush are beginning to see what they’ve got. Expect a mid-term slaughter and approval ratings in the 30s next year. Bush did deserve to go, but what an awful replacement.

    All modern politicians are a-holes… admit it!!! Palin may be an idiot who will never get elected, but Obama is a dangerous cat. His legion of Coolaid swilling America-haters are all too ignorant to see what is happening to the once-great business fabric of our country. Better brush up on your Chinese.

    And where’s my stimulus? Oh yeah, only businesses worthy of gov’t commandeering get money. The rest of us just get higher taxes. No doubt the commander-in-thief believes that Chris Dodd and Barney Frank could have done a lot more to wreck the banks. At least we have a really cool printing press so we can just print more money when things get even crappier. Wish I had one of those.

    Lastly, thank God we’re not in Israel! Ever see what happens when you back a dog into a corner. Not going to be pretty when the middle east blows up. Try heating your home when oil is $300 barrel. Like it or not, we’re going to need fossil fuel for a while. Thanks BHO.

    I know… maybe some glib intellectual commentary can save us.

    • Carter did not cause or create the inflation in his time. Paul Volcker (Fed chief) did and knew it would cause Carter’s political ruin but Volcker felt the raise in interest rates was needed. As for Reagan, consider that one of the greatest economic crashes occurred during his reign and, when it did, he ran and hid. Greenspan then told the Fed governors that somebody had to ride the country through the disaster and that is what made for the more powerful Fed that we all know and love. Stimulus: Bush gave us the first one, and main economists now say the only thing wrong with Obama’s was that it was TOO SMALL, that it should have been 1-3 trillion.

  4. The inevitability of Sarah after Gloria — now that’s something to ponder.

  5. “When Fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.”

    – Sinclair Lewis, 1935

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